“Hey! Are you available on [insert date]?

It sounds harmless. It sounds like an opportunity. It sounds like someone wants me, and hey, we freelancers are always happy to feel wanted.

So what do I do?

I say yes. A little too fast. Without asking questions. Because in the moment, it feels like the polite, enthusiastic, go-getter thing to do. I mean, work is work, right?

Well… Then comes the second message. You know the one. Where they finally explain what you just agreed to: (Exaggerated for the purpose of the example 🙃)

• A 14-hour shoot in a fluorescent-lit warehouse,

• No daylight, no concept, no decent fee,

• For a client whose name rings zero bells and whose brand doesn’t fit you at all.

And that’s the moment the enthusiasm evaporates like the last coffee in the pot. But you already said yes. And now you feel bad backing out. Because you’re a professional, right? So… you do the job anyway. You give it your all, even if your gut was screaming “this is not your thing” from the start.

And afterwards?

You’re tired. You’re annoyed with yourself. And worst of all: you just gave a day of your precious energy to something that didn’t align with who you are or where you want to go. Also when you commit, you’re committed! That's how we roll!

Been there. Too often.

It took me quite a few “oops” moments to realize this:

Availability is not consent.

Saying you can doesn’t mean you should. And saying yes without knowing what you’re walking into… is asking for frustration on a silver platter.

Now… when it happens over the phone?

Even trickier. Those quick calls where someone asks on the spot if you’re free next week Thursday? Whew. That moment can feel extra overwhelming, because you have to answer instantly — no time to think, no time to check anything. I’ve started using a little trick for that. I say something like: “I’m not in front of my laptop right now — let me walk over and check my schedule.”

It buys me a few moments.

And in that little pause, I flip the script and say: “While I’m doing that, could you tell me a bit more about the project?” Now I’ve got context. And if it’s not my thing? I used to say, “Oh, I’m already booked that day.”

But these days, I’ve started being honest: “Thanks for thinking of me, but that type of job doesn’t really align with what I do best.” It’s way more respectful to both sides. And it feels good to stand by what actually suits you — not just what fills the calendar.

So here’s what I learned and now try to live by:

These days, when someone asks if I’m available, I reply with: “Depends a bit on the project, happy to hear more!” That simple line gives me space to think. To evaluate. To decide consciously. Because let’s be honest: not every job is the right one. And we’re not just trading time, we’re trading focus, creativity, passion, energy. It’s not rude to ask for more info. It’s smart. It’s professional. And it helps you avoid falling into the availability trap, where you say yes to things that slowly nibble away at your joy in the job.

I’m still learning this. Still messing up sometimes. Still catching myself replying too fast now and then. But these days, I try to pause. To breathe. To ask: “Do I want this?” Instead of just: “Can I do this?”

Because at the end of the day, I’d rather do fewer jobs with full heart, than a calendar full of things I said yes to just because I was free that day.

And very often that shooting day and job will be replaced with another job, more suited to who you are and what you do!